Anatomy of Embrace

I love the giving and receiving of hugs. Which is strange considering I came from a family in which physical affection was awkwardly engaged. It was as a college student amongst a loving Christian community that I really learned how to give and receive a good hug. I’ve tried to carry this back to my family and into my life as a pastor. I was thrilled to come across Mirslov Volf’s theological reflection on embrace--a theology of hugs, so to speak. Let’s muse about it for a moment.

Have you ever thought about the nature life giving, loving, embrace? The structure of embrace has four identifiable movements. The first involves the opening of the arms to another. The second movement is in the waiting for the other to reciprocate open arms. Third, the arms must close. But that’s not the end of the embrace. The final movement is the act of release. It’s helpful to reflect on these for movements as metaphor of the welcome and reception of God in our lives.

Open arms communicates an invitation, the openness of space to the other. It bares witness to safety, warmth, comfort. In the anatomy of embrace one party must originate this gift. The origin of embrace can certainly be a risky endeavor. The longing and desire to receive the other may in fact be rejected or ignored. This is the movement of waiting. Will this grace be received? How will the ‘other’ interpret such an offer? But this inviting posture is critical for animating desire in the one whom the offer is directed.

The waiting is brought to rest as the host and guest meet freely in open embrace. The arms close in poetic motion to in some sense celebrate the moment. In this move the ‘I’ is not so easily distinguished from the ‘us’. In the space created an intimacy and solidarity is shared. There is where memory, longing, hope, reconciliation, and healing spring forth. But this embrace can not come to end here. The story is not complete. The movement must continue with intentionality.

If either party, host or guest (who’s titles are lost in the spin of mutual reciprocity), were to cling too tightly the embrace takes a controlling detour. This control which can be born of hurt, dysfunction, addiction, or even evil threatens to tragically undue the embrace. The music and the dance creep to a stop and the beauty is lost.

The movements are appropriately completed when, with the same grace and freedom that conjoined the two, the embrace is opened again. Free to move the individuals leave with the memory of a transformative experience. When to reunite again? Time will tell. If the rhythm of embrace is practiced well a growing sense of safety and blessing emerges.

This has been a really helpful metaphor for me in recent months. I think it beautifully depicts the way of relationship we know with God. In Christ Jesus humanity encounters God with open arms. “he came full of grace and truth…but we did not receive him.” (John 1). In fact with open arms we so tragically bound him to a tree in mockery of his embrace. Yet I can’t help but think of the open tome where we find Jesus speaking to Mary. As they embrace he warns her, “do not cling too to me, and I returning to the father.”

There is way more I could say here. We could talk about embrace as Trinitarian interrelation. We could speak not only of our relationship with God, but also our relationship with others. What implications would this way of embrace has as we apply the metaphor to family, Christian brothers and sisters, or even our enemies? Anyway, let me know how it strikes you. Peace